Embracing Hypnobirthing After Loss: Beth’s Pregnancy and Birth Story

This is not intended to provide medical advice. The interview has been edited for clarity and length. Please consult your doctor for any health-related concerns.

Beth Marsden’s journey to motherhood was marked by joy, heartache, and transformation. At 21, Beth married her husband Lewis, and like many young couples, they were excited to start a family. 

What they couldn’t anticipate were the unexpected hurdles they would face, including a miscarriage. Beth's pregnancy story, which spans loss, healing, and embracing hypnobirthing, reflects her resilience and determination to create a positive birth experience despite the challenges.

In this piece, learn about hypnobirthing techniques, what birth is like in the United Kingdom, and how Beth coped with postpartum anxiety.

An Unexpected Loss

Beth’s excitement about starting a family with her husband, Lewis, was palpable. They began trying to conceive soon after getting married, and she became pregnant quickly.

“We started in 2021, and we fell pregnant really quick after I came off contraception. I had been on it since I was 15, and I actually was pregnant on my wedding day and didn’t realize it. I found out when we came back from the honeymoon.”

Sadly, Beth suffered a miscarriage in the early weeks of her pregnancy, a reality that she hadn’t anticipated or prepared for.

“I actually felt like I was pregnant with twins at the time, which shocked me because twins run in Lewis’s family on both sides. But unfortunately, that pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. It wasn’t something I expected—no one ever talks about it. I didn’t think it would happen to me.”

Miscarriage is more common than many realize; according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), approximately 10-20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage, often before the 12-week mark. 

The Pain of Waiting

One of the hardest parts of Beth’s miscarriage was the physical process, which dragged on longer than she ever imagined. After discovering there was no heartbeat at her seven-week scan, she was given medication to help her body complete the miscarriage, but it didn’t work as expected.

“We went for an early scan, and they couldn’t find a heartbeat. I was just under eight weeks, about seven weeks and five days. I chose to take the medication to speed things up, but it just didn’t work. I ended up being in the hospital for five days, taking the medication about 15 times, and nothing was happening.”

"I ended up staying with my mum for about a month because I struggled mentally"

Eventually, Beth opted for surgery to end the drawn-out process. It was a decision she made to protect her mental health, as waiting for her body to respond was taking a heavy emotional toll.

“I just wasn’t prepared for how long it would take. I wanted to be done with it and move forward,” says Beth. “After the surgery, I ended up staying with my mum for about a month because I struggled mentally. That support from my family was everything during that time.”

Embracing Hypnobirthing

Despite the pain of losing her first pregnancy, Beth and Lewis were determined to keep trying. Three months after her miscarriage, Beth became pregnant again, and this time, she wanted to approach the experience with as much positivity and control as possible. That’s when she turned to hypnobirthing, a technique focused on relaxation, controlled breathing, and a calm mindset during labor.

“Hypnobirthing was something my sister did, and she had a really amazing first birth with my nephew. My aunt had a traumatic first labor, but a really positive second one using hypnobirthing, so it was something I knew I wanted to do when I got pregnant. I really wanted a positive birth experience.”

Beth began her hypnobirthing course early in her pregnancy, finding that the nightly practice of listening to relaxation tracks and learning about labor helped her prepare both mentally and physically.

“I started doing the course just after my first trimester,” recalls Beth. “There were MP3s and podcasts to listen to. I’d listen to them every night.”

Hypnobirthing isn’t just for women hoping for a natural birth. Beth explains how it’s more about having the tools to stay relaxed and in control, regardless of how the birth unfolds. The focus is on understanding the body’s processes and working with them, rather than against them.

“It’s about breathing and working with your body during contractions. The more you learn about it, the more it makes sense. When you tense up, your body uses energy in the wrong places, and it makes labor harder. But if you focus on breathing and relaxing, your body can work the way it’s supposed to.”

Key HypnoBirthing Techniques

Hypnobirthing, originally developed by hypnotherapist Marie “Mickey” Mongan in the 1950s and 1960s, is a trademarked childbirth education program that teaches relaxation and breathing techniques to help women manage pain during labor.

According to the Hypnobirthing Institute, its core philosophy is that when a woman is relaxed and free of fear, her body’s natural birthing muscles can function more effectively, allowing labor to progress smoothly, as stress can cause muscles to tense and slow the process. Today, certified Hypnobirthing instructors teach the method worldwide, and its popularity has grown, with celebrities like Kate Middleton endorsing its benefits.

Hypnobirthing focuses on creating a calm, peaceful childbirth experience through various techniques that help reduce pain and anxiety according to the UK's National Child Trust. These include:

• Relaxation and Breathing: Deep breathing techniques to stay calm and focused during labor.

• Visualization: Positive imagery and mental preparation to reduce fear and stress.

• Self-Hypnosis: Simple hypnosis techniques to release fear and shift focus away from painful birth stories and myths.

• Body Toning and Nutrition: Physical preparation to support the body during childbirth.

• Meditation: Techniques to calm the mind and promote emotional balance.

• Respectful Collaboration: Fostering a positive, respectful relationship between the birthing person and healthcare providers.

• Adaptability: Techniques that work equally well in hospitals, birth centers, or at home.

  
  

These techniques allow birthing people to trust their bodies and experience childbirth as a normal, natural event, leading to a calmer and more gentle transition for both parent and baby.

Hattie’s Birth: Finding Calm in the Chaos

Beth’s hypnobirthing techniques were put to the test when her water broke at 36 weeks, just after her baby shower. She was immediately taken to the hospital, where she discovered she had high blood pressure, a potential sign of preeclampsia. Doctors decided to induce her at 37 weeks, something Beth had hoped to avoid.

“I didn’t want to be induced, but my water had broken, and my blood pressure was high,” says Beth. “I just had to accept it, but I was determined to stay calm. I used my breathing techniques, went for a walk, and even bounced on a birthing ball. It really helped me feel more in control.”

Beth labored for hours, leaning on her hypnobirthing practices to help her manage the pain. Even when things got intense, she stayed focused on the techniques she had spent months practicing.

“I put on my eye mask, listened to the hypnobirthing tracks, and just breathed through each contraction. It wasn’t easy, but it made such a difference.” Her goal was to release her body’s oxytocin naturally by staying calm. 

In addition to practicing breathing exercises, Beth also used gas and air, a common pain relief method in the United Kingdom, particularly during labor.

Gas and air, also known as entonox, is a mixture of oxygen and nitrous oxide (commonly referred to as laughing gas) that helps take the edge off the pain. It’s inhaled through a mouthpiece during contractions and provides temporary relief without making the person feel drowsy. Beth found this method effective as her labor progressed.

"I don’t know if you’d call it gas and air, but we use it here," Beth explained. "It really helped me with my breathing, especially when things got more intense. I’d breathe in, then release it all out at the same time."

In combination with the gas and air, Beth used her hypnobirthing techniques to manage the contractions. "

Even when her labor became more intense, Beth relied on her preparation. "I also used the birthing ball, and when things started ramping up, I just focused on my breathing and using the gas to stay calm."

When Hattie was finally born, Beth felt a wave of relief and joy. Though small, she was healthy, and Beth remembers the overwhelming joy of holding her daughter for the first time after all the uncertainty.

“When I finally held her, I kept thinking, ‘Oh my gosh, that’s my baby.’ It didn’t feel real. After everything, it felt like a dream come true.”

Postpartum Anxiety: The Lingering Impact of Miscarriage

While Hattie’s birth was a positive experience, Beth’s postpartum period wasn’t without its challenges. Like many new mothers, she experienced postpartum anxiety. Beth struggled with intrusive thoughts and an overwhelming desire to protect her baby at all costs.

“I didn’t want anyone else to hold her,” remembers Beth. “Not even Lewis. I wanted to do everything myself, and I didn’t trust anyone to take care of her like I could.”

Beth’s anxiety lingered for months, making it difficult for her to enjoy those early days of motherhood. It wasn’t until she sought counseling that she began to understand how much her miscarriage had affected her.

“I didn’t talk to a therapist until after I had my second baby, Remi. It wasn’t until then that I realized how much my miscarriage had impacted me. Therapy really helped me work through the anxiety.”

The Birth of Remi

Ten months after Hattie was born, Beth and Lewis decided to try for another baby. After three months of trying, Beth became pregnant with her son, Remi. For the birth, Beth continued to rely on the hypnobirthing techniques that had helped her during Hattie’s birth.

These techniques allowed her to remain as calm and centered as possible, despite her past experiences.

Finding Strength and Empowerment

Beth’s story reflects the strength and resilience it takes to overcome the emotional weight of miscarriage and pregnancy. Through both her losses and her births, she gained perspective and grew as a mother. By sharing her journey, Beth hopes her experience can support and resonate with other women facing similar situations.